Love lifted me

 

Psalms 40:2 NIV

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

I was a mess in my thirties.  Stuck in the mud and mire of sin.  My life was not going according to plan.  Two divorces by the age of 30.  My plan was to have a life like my parents and family, committed love.  Love that lasted.  I felt ashamed and like the odd woman out.  I was angry with God for letting my life turn out this way.  I wasn't bold enough to tell Him I was angry, but I showed it.  I turned my back.  I figured if doing the right way got me these results, I would do it the world's way.  I ended up in a pit of depression as I believed the lies of the enemy.

I chased after the wrong type of love and ended up deeper and deeper in the mud.  BUT God!  I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry (Psalm 40:1).  I will not say that I waited patiently, but He heard my cry all the same.  He heard the cry of my heart and soul. He knew that I was miserable and that the love I needed was only provided by Him.  He literally and spiritually picked me up and gave me a firm place to stand.

I often refer to that season as my wilderness seasons as I went in circles until I realized the truth.  Until I surrendered and came back home.  Home to His open arms.  I want to note that during my wilderness period, God never forsook me.  He provided for me and kept me.  He had people praying with me and for me.  He sent people to love on me unconditionally and showed me what real love looks like. He showed me what it looks like to love myself, the woman He created.

I stand on solid ground now.  He has blessed me richly and cast my sins into the sea of forgetfulness.  He cleaned me up.  He has given me the tools (armor of God) to stand.  To rebuke the lies of the enemy and love God with my whole heart.  He has blessed me with a spouse who loves the Lord and loves me as the Lord commands him to.  I have family and dear friends.  I have Jesus! I am restored.  My forties are a hallelujah season. :)

Whatever you are going through know what God did for me, He can do for you.

Lord thank You for hearing my cry.  Thank You Holy Spirit for interceding for me when I didn't know how to pray or what to say.  Thank You Lord for the lessons learned in my wilderness season.  Thank You for bringing me into the promise.  Thank You for lifting me up.  I pray that my testimony helps draw someone else closer to Thee.  In Jesus name.  Amen