He Sees Me

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”~Genesis 16:13

Yesterday, I was asked to reflect on an area in my life where I struggle.  This question required me to be vulnerable, to strip away the mask that I wear to cover up pain and insecurities.  Talking about areas where I struggle with sin is not difficult, but sharing my struggle with isolation, loneliness, and despair is different.  Struggling with the need to be seen and noticed seems shallow and unimportant.  But in order to deal with the issues, to truly cast them unto the Lord, I must be willing to come out of the shadow and into His light.

So I have been struggling lately.  The battle with chronic pain, fatigue, uneasiness on my job, weight gain? and lurking depression is weathering on the soul. I feel like a shutters on a house that are slammed against the frame as the winds and rains blow.  I often feel like I am in between a rock and a hard place.  When I am sick and in pain, I often push through. I call on God to help me and He supplies.  Yet, people look at me as if nothing is wrong.  I feel like my pain is overlooked.  The expectation then is that I am okay, but I am longing for someone to see me.  To look beyond the mask of determination and will.  

This longing to be heard and comforted is nothing to be ashamed about, but it is up to me to decide how I will respond to this struggle and suffering.  What weapons will I pick up to battle with the slings and arrows the enemy is throwing my way.  I pick up the truth! I speak life over myself.

Yes, I am a woman of faith! Yes, I believe God for my healing and my deliverance!  Yes, I believe that God will give me wisdom on my job! Yes, I believe that He will remind me that whatever work I do I am doing for Him, so every day I can live with expectation! Yes, I believe that He is the God all comfort and that He will give me peace! Yes, I believe that I am more than curves of my body! Yes, I believe that He will keep me sane and wipe my tears! Yes, I believe He sees me!  Yes, I know that I see Him!

I don't have to wear mask with God for He sees me.