The child in me

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.~1 Corinthians 13:12

My job requested that we provided baby pictures or childhood photos.  So my Dad sent me a my fourth grade school picture. I have not seen a photo of myself as a child in over 20 years, but I was overjoyed for chance to look back at myself.  However, what I saw was not my past, but my present.  I saw me as I am today on the inside.  I saw my heart; the one that God has restored.

My late twenties and the majority of my thirties was a mess.  I was crippled by broken relationships and depression. My heart was on life support and while I smiled it never reached my eyes.  Joy was missing and happiness was fleeting.  I went through life going through the motions. I looked in the mirror and could not see and what I saw I did not like.   I lost the girl that I once was and didn't think I would ever find her again.

But by His grace and mercy here she stands.  That same little girl who looked at life with excitement, who was fearless, and kind is here again.  My heart is full because of His love.  My mirror is not so dark anymore.  I am seeing reflections of His work as I grow closer to Him.  With the light I my eye and warmth in my heart that I had as a child I look to the Father and say thank You.

Maybe you feel lost right now; straining to see yourself and the God who loves You.  He is there and He see You.  He sees your beauty and He can make beauty out the ashes that surround you.  Just trust Him; believe in Him.  Keep walking and loving.  It will get better.  You are loved.