Monday, April 16, 2018

Lost and Found

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:6-7).

God is amazing in how He just lines everything up.  Like the Master Teacher that He is, He scaffolds His Word so that I come to that place of understanding.  He leads me to a place of peace that is only found in Him and I am grateful.  I am so grateful for His love and mercy. 

I woke up this morning only to find myself lost, again.  I could not seem to pray, again.  My heart is crying out to just be in His presence, but I felt like I was just twisting in the wind.  My mind searched for the words, but they sounded hollow.  There was no power in my prayer.   Something was missing.  I felt so disconnected, so lost, and confused. Why was I here at this place of disorientation again? Why are all these battles raging?  

I pressed forwarded with my routine of reading my daily devotionals, hoping to hear His voice.  He did not dissapoint.  He first reminded me that His arms are not  too short to save me( Isaiah 59:1).  He can reach me wherever I am.  My way looks dark to me, but He is the light.  His loving arms scoop me up and hold me close.  I am safe in Him.  

The next thing He told me was to not be afraid (2 Chrinicles 32:7-8)  He knows the battles I face, but am I really trusting in Him and His power to fight these battles? Am I placing my confidence in the One who can not be defeated or am I trusting myself?  The answer should be easy.  I know the truth, but walking it out when the bombs are going off around me is a different type of thing.  So I cry out again to the One who Saves.   I ask Him to help me endure.

He then brought me to a place of purpose that overrides the pain.  The suffering of these trials that I face and the distress that they bring me will eventually result in the revelation of Jesus Christ ( I Peter 1:6-7). This testing of my faith and this baptism by fire is not in vain.  He will be glorified through it all and I will know Him even better.  And in this alone is hope and strength.

Dr. Tony Evans said that “ we can’t ignore the pain of a trial, but we must focus on the purpose.”  I think I get lost because I am trying to ignore the pain of my trials.  As if acknowledging that there is a struggle is disappointing God or a lack of faith. God has shined His light on this lie. Thank you Jesus!  The truth is that when I acknowledge my pain and struggles and go to Him I am showing where my faith lies, in Christ alone.  And when I look at the pain knowing that the purpose is beyond what I feel in the moment I am strengthened.

Father, it is You alone that sustains me.  Lord, help me not to feel ashamed of my struggles, but to rejoice in the work You are doin in me.  Thank You for finding me over and over again.  I love you.  In Jesus name. Amen

2 comments:

  1. Jennifer, thank you for being transparent. As Christians, we human and still have to crucify our flesh. When I mess up, I repent and remind those who convict me that I am not perfect. I also lead them to Matt 21:12-13 when Jesus got angry with the money changers for conducting business in the temple and He overthrew the tables. If Jesus got angry, we certainly will get angry but God allows repentance and grants us mercy and grace.

    A few weeks ago, menopause hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so angry, had insomnia for weeks and lashed out at some people too before I realized what was causing me to act this way. I was angry and out of control. I had to pray in the Spirit and put a pop up reminder in my phone and snoozed it every 2 hours to remind me to breathe and pray. Hope you have a wonderful week!

    ReplyDelete