Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.~Romans 12:12
This week I wrestled with myself and with God over my affliction of a chronic illness. I found myself uneasy and unsure. The constant up and down of my health frustrates me. The attacks of my body are like thunderstorms that come out of the blue. Trying to figure out the triggers is like me trying to understand which direction the wind is going to blow next.
So I begin to question. I questioned my inability to exercise my faith. I asked God to show me what I was doing wrong. I have prayed for healing and yet I am not. Why not? Is it because I lack faith? Then I went to the other end and debated with myself over my desire to just accept the illness because I had settled in my mind that it was being used for His purpose. But was I accepting it because I doubted that He could it wanted to heal me? I was driving myself crazy and the enemy was loving it.
The enemy was loving it because as long as I wrestling with myself and being doubled minded I could not focus on God. My lack of focus impaired my ability to hear from Him and do His work. God revealed to me that I was asking the wrong questions. I was asking Him to provide me the wrong things. He equips me the right tools, but I was asking for a hammer instead of a flashlight.
The question or what I should have been asking God to provide was endurance and patience. God is going to heal me in this life or with my eternal body, but while I am here my focus needs to be on learning how to be patient in my affliction. I must learn to never lose sight of or grasp of my hope which is Jesus Christ. I am not dismissing the pain and the stress the body takes, but God has given me so much grace. I have to find my praise and joy. When I do that, I stay before Him and in His presence. He renews my strength.
There is a purpose to my affliction. It is uncomfortable, but it spurs my growth in Christ. To God be the glory.
Father I am thankful for all the faithful prayer warriors lift me up and stand in the gap. I am thankful that You intercede on my behalf. I love you. Thank you for giving me a flashlight so that I can see my way through. In Jesus name. Amen
Good morning, Jennifer! Keep being faithful to spread God's word and love and letting your light shine. I'm praying for God's healing hand upon you. God bless you, my sister in Christ! Have faith!🙏💜
ReplyDeleteThank you Louanne. I am grateful that God can use me.
DeleteI so needed this! I too have asked those questions about my chronic illness. I think the devil is so quick to make us anxious as Max says in Anxious for Nothing. I am praying for you and Gods will .
ReplyDeleteThe enemy wants us stressed, but God says we can cast our cares on Him. May His will be done in our lives.
DeleteJennifer, I know without a doubt that God led me to your blog this morning. I am on First5 almost daily and rarely will I go to a website or posting outside of First5, but God knew. It’s as if you read my mind. You spoke my story in this post today. I too am suffering from chronic illness and I can be doing well one minute and then out of nowhere be plagued by illness —- feel better in one area and then attacked in another. I think the message for me too is patience and learning to press in spite of. I know I have been double minded as well. One day/week I feel so on track with the Lord, in my health and exercise and then when illness hits I become so discouraged. My prayer just last night was for forgiveness for being double minded, for giving up so easily. I asked the Lord, beginning today, even in the midst of feeling pain now that He give me the strength, a stable mind, perseverance and discipline to, for starters to at least commit to seeking Him daily through prayer and devotion, do my part for my health for this month of December. Lord, help me not to be defeated by what I feel. Help me to not be double minded. I know You are a healer and even if You don’t intercede when I expect, I must be patient and continue to press and hold on to Your promises. I love You Lord and I lift up my sister Jennifer asking that You heal her and meet her needs during the process. In Jesus’ precious name, I submit this prayer with confidence and thanksgiving, Amen!
ReplyDeleteAll praises to God for His faithfulness. Thanking for sharing your story. Our testimonies encourage one another and may the uplift others.
DeleteI don’t have chronic illness. God has granted me health. I needed this for my chronic broke-ness. I have to endure and be patient while He does His work. And whether I’m “healed” in this life or no, I’m still treasured and loved and blessed beyond comprehension.
ReplyDeleteI too am like you Robin I am chronically broken and I need God’s healing. He is teaching me to be patient and endure.
DeleteSo thankful that Jesus is our balm of healing. His grace is sufficient.
Delete❤️ Thank you Jennifer. Thank you Jennifer for being a living testimony to all of us.
ReplyDeleteThank you Pam! Grateful to be used by God.
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