A Transparent Start

We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.~ Psalm 78:4

This morning Proverbs 31 morning devotion was about sharing our stories.  It was a confirmation for how have approached this blog.  I am imperfect woman, flawed but saved by grace.  And as I look back over my life I see the Lord's goodness.  It is a new year, just seven days in and I have no other resolution, better yet resolve than to in gratitude draw nearer to God and to make an impact for His Kingdom.  

I want to share my stories because they are His stories.  His story of faithfulness even when I have been faithless.  His story of provision and care.  His story of redemption and revival for a once prodigal daughter.  His story of grace and mercy through the storms and travails of life.

His story of how He has built and strengthen my faith.  A story of relationship with the Father rather than legalism and pride.  So over the course of the year I will be sharing my stories in hopes that it will help someone else.  i won't let the devil shame me or judge me because Christ has covered it all.

I used yo be so busted and disgusted that I spoke death over my life.  I was in such a deep depression that suicidal thoughts walked camped in my mind.  I hated my life.  I was a believer, but I had lost hope.  I was twice divorced and feeling rejected and neglected.  I made one bad choice  with men after another.  I did this all while teaching and handling business(God's grace), but my spiritual  life was a mess. Chasing after romantic love became my god.  It left me incomplete.

When thunderstorms came I would wonder if it was Jesus and would I even be "worthy' to be taken up in the rapture.  I questioned my salvation.  I used to say I wouldn't live past 40. I talked about my funeral with my oldest son.  I was in a muddy pit.  BUT GOD!

You see I was angry with God because I thought because I was "doing the right things"  I deserved something.  He gave me enough wits not to curse Him, but I had to be broken in order to be healed.  Depression and anxiety would be my thorn.  I am now 52 and 11 months.  At the age of 40 I met my husband ( high school sweetheart).  I wrestled with God and was set free.  I was pulled out of the pit and stood on the foundation Jesus.  The death I spoke he turned into life.  I was drawn to God like a moth to a flame.  I was set free from trying to live life in my own strength.  I was humpty dumpty whom the KING put back together again.  Each day is a gift.  

The woman I was 20 years ago trusted in self and man.  The woman today trusts in God.  My foundation solid and my faith is strong because of God.  I'm still running the race, but I am fueled by His Spirit.  I have a good life.  My mind is regulated because I seek the Lord to do it.  He always brings a light when the darkness would want to creep in.  I am no longer a broken egg frying on a hot street.  I am faberge egg that rest in the arms of the Father.  With open arms He took me in and gave me me new robes to wear.  I am in relationship; I am a child of the King.  

Maybe someone is suffering or questioning the goodness of God.  If He brought me through He can bring you through too.  Jesus died on the Cross to restore our relationship with the Father,  He died that we may have hope.  He lives to bring us life abundantly.  It wont always be bad.  There won't always be a storm.  The eye will cross over.  Just hold on and believe.  Have faith and receive.  I am a witness to the goodness of God.

Father, this year may I walk in gratitude for all the ways You bless me.  May I be intentional in surrendering myself to You.  Use me any way You want.  May I be obedient.  Bless those that read this blog.  May it help someone. You get the glory.  In Jesus name. Amen